The Vulnerability Factor

Sat, 08 Mar 2025 03:51:26 -0800

For someone with ADHD, the early stages of a relationship can feel incredibly intense—just like with a psychopath or narcissist. Both involve love bombing, but for very different reasons. A psychopath or narcissist uses love bombing as a tool for gathering information, which they later manipulate and weaponise. In contrast, a person with ADHD simply wants to form a deep connection and get to know someone fully. This creates a dangerous dynamic where the ADHD brain, wired for deep emotional intensity and craving dopamine, becomes an easy target for manipulation.

I know this all too well. I was married to a psychopath conman who deceived me at every turn—lying about his identity, manipulating my emotions, and ultimately stealing everything I owned, leaving me in crippling debt. When I wrote The Psychopath, I had already come to understand that my empathy was one of the primary tools he used against me. But as I’ve learned more about ADHD, I’ve realised that it wasn’t just my empathy that made me vulnerable—it was my entire neurological makeup.

ADHD traits such as rejection sensitivity, impulsivity, hyperfocus, and emotional dysregulation make people like me, and so many others, particularly susceptible to toxic individuals.

How ADHD Traits Make Us Vulnerable to Manipulation

Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD): People with ADHD feel rejection more deeply than neurotypical individuals. A narcissist or psychopath instinctively picks up on this and uses it as leverage. They create an environment where their approval becomes a powerful tool of control. When they withdraw affection or shift into manipulation, we instinctively chase them—not out of neediness, but because the pain of rejection feels unbearable.
Impulsivity & Trust: ADHD brains tend to trust quickly and deeply, especially when someone showers us with attention in...Read More

The 'Golden' Rule of Three

Sat, 15 Apr 2023 06:17:14 -0700

Alright, let's have some fun with the rule of three!

Have you ever heard of the rule of three? No, it's not some obscure law of physics or a set of strict dietary restrictions. It's a writing principle that says things that come in threes are inherently more satisfying and memorable than other numbers of things.

Think about it - the Three Little Pigs, Goldilocks and the Three Bears, the Three Stooges, and even the Three Musketeers. All of these stories use the rule of three to create a pattern that's easy to follow and remember.

The rule of three isn't just for fairy tales and comedy acts though - it comes into business, politics and many other areas of life, including religion. However, it's a powerful tool for writers of all genres. Memoirists, novelists, and self-help gurus alike can use the 'rule of three' to create structure, emphasise important points, and keep their readers engaged.

While the rule of three is often associated with using three words or phrases, it can also be applied to other areas of storytelling. For example, many stories are structured around three acts - the beginning, middle, and end - which can create a sense of completeness and satisfaction for the reader or audience. By using the rule of three in this way, authors and storytellers can create a powerful sense of structure and balance that resonates with readers and audiences.

As an author, I often ask myself whether or not I am a creative artist. While many people might assume that writing is a purely technical skill, I believe that writing is just as much a form of creative expression as painting, music, or sculpture.

Writing is an art form that requires a great deal of creativity and imagination. When I sit down to write, I am creating something new and unique, something that has never existed before. It requires me to think deeply about the world around me, tap into my emotions, and draw on my own experiences and perspectives.

However, unlike many other forms of art, writing is often seen as less important or less valid. There is a perception that writing is purely a commercial endeavour, something that is done to make money or to entertain the masses. But I believe that this is a narrow and limiting view of what writing can be.

For me, writing is a form of creative expression that is just as important as any other art form. It allows me to explore the human experience, grapple with complex emotions and ideas, and share my perspective with the world. It's a way for me to connect with readers, engage with them on a deep emotional level, and inspire them to think differently about the world around them.

Of course, there is always the question of whether or not it matters if people read my work or not. As with any art form, there will always be people who don't appreciate or understand...Read More

Mary Turner Thomson | Best Selling Author & Speaker

The Vulnerability Factor

How ADHD Traits Make Us Vulnerable to Manipulation

The 'Golden' Rule of Three